The path to MotherhoodMay 02, 2020
Dear ones, here is an Instagram post, written from my heart about the prospect of becoming a mother. It’s raw and simple and includes powerful perspectives from the fellow sisters in this KIND community that were shared in the comments section. I hope it supports your journey if you are in a similar space.
For the full post visit me here: @kind_yoga_life
‘Everyone shares when they are pregnant or have a baby. I rarely hear about becoming ready to be a mother, pre-pregnancy, everyone says 'there is never a right time... ' Which isn't so helpful for me
There is a time, when George and I will say yes, to the possibility of a baby being a possibility
We are in this stage
As a woman it's a process of listening into my shifting feelings around wanting a family and then really not wanting to surrender all I know
I feel so connected to this path of motherhood, and all my sisters on this path already, I can feel the huge transformation, surrendering and awakening that will be asked of me when It happens. As well as the beauty, pain and love, beyond my wildest imagination, that will shatter my life into a million magnificent pieces
It's the one thing I find truly terrifying to think about and can bring tears to my eyes in an instant.
I don't have the answer, and this isn't a decision, I’m just sharing the complex, multi-dimensional and contradicted space I'm in, because if I am in it, I am guessing some of you are too! and even though there is no right time, I do trust in the Divine time ✨
Becoming a mother has been the most life changing, earth shattering and beautiful thing that has happened to me and yet I retain a sense that it did happen for me at the right time because of all the work I put into myself beforehand and I was in a very good place when I found out. My daughter is the light of my life and gives me even more reasons, if thats possible, to continue to step into my best possible self, which often is just being good enough 😊 being a mother is one of the hardest things I have ever done, I wasnt sure if I wanted to be a mother or if I ever would be but I trusted that life would hand me what I could cope with if I continued on my own path... honestly the pregnancy was awful and I nearly changed my mind a few times but then I started a relationship with a little human growing in my tummy. I am full of and overwhelmed with emotions a lot of the time in this adventure. My daughter is an incredible little person whom I love beyond words and cannot explain the feelings that it brings me to see her grow before my eyes. When I think about it now I don't know how it could have been any other way... thank you for naming this, as women we aren't given a choice to take this time to decide for real, the realities of motherhood are rarely genuinely and fully shared because of guilt and shame around them. If and when you do want to read up a little about it, the books on motherhood by Naomi Stadlen absolutely saved my sanity during post partum and I remember wishing I could have read it before giving birth also as it gives an incredible insight into motherhood related subjects that are so difficult for mothers to express. The books are called 'what mothers do' and 'how mothers love'.
I am in the same space. My friends say “there is no right time” alll the time BUT this feeling is different. I say I’m not ready because it’s not the right time right now, not because I’m scared of not ever being ready. I guess when you get to your late twenty’s or thirty’s it’s the common advice we hear because people worry about the body clock. But I Know it will happen when it’s supposed to... then I’ll worry about feeling “never fully ready”
So beautiful this share... I have to say that it’s unbelievable to me that now after becoming a mother that we don’t have any sort of training or preparation for what is the biggest and most important job we will have in our life. We don’t live in multi generational families/communities any longer so there is no passing of the wisdom through daily life example. This is just a role that is an afterthought or assumption that will just step into fire and be fine. Conscious parenting is such an important movement and it would be so wonderful if the tenants could be made accessible to all. Blessing on your journey ⭐️
There’s two great short pieces by The School of Life on this: ‘Are Children for Me?’ and ‘Whether or not to have Children’ - both really helpful and interesting even if you know you want to 👍🏼
Completely resonate with this ♥️✨ lovely words. I never knew how you could just know and it would click when you would feel ready to start the journey on motherhood. Until it came and arrived like a lightening bolt over the last few months. Maybe it’s having the time to ‘be’ and rest and really attune to myself, allowing the space to happen naturally. Or the change of the earth and life is so precious. But it has completely become such a loving vibe around the whole of me. It’s exciting, but also terrifying of the unknown. We know so much more than we think, our woman instinct is truly wonderful 🌱🌈 love to everyone on their journeys 💜
Oops shared on wrong post! So much to say on this! 😍 Bottom line whatever your feeling is ok valid and should be felt without shame. Sounds like you’re being really open and honest with ourselves about the reality. I work with women who always thought they wanted children and then it turns out when they do that it wasn’t what they expected. (Cue shame and guilt at thirds feelings.) Then there are the unexpectant mothers who turn out to be the most devotional but always vowed they didn’t want them/ or would be crap. Then there’s all the iterations in between. I’d be up for some real talk convos with you if you ever feel the need. In all honesty a lot of mothers are afraid to speak out on certain things for fear of being judged. We’re still so subconsciously bound by cultural expectations. A lot of ppl will lovingly encourage us to do things but really also for their own benefit/sake! It MUST come from your soul and it’s current journey. And it’s ok not to know right now. And you May never have 100% clarity either way. Mothers are birthed every single day. Sometimes you’ll be a great mother and sometimes you won’t on some level. I think expecting to get it right all the time is deadly for your heart and soul. There is no perfection in motherhood. But there is a massive responsibility to nurture a soul. That possibly chooses you for its own journey to unfold. So many elements to it. And happy to give you an honest and balanced perspective (hopefully) on this experience if you ever feel, from my own experiences and the women I’ve worked with. And potentially how you actually can prepare (another myth in my opinion!) x
There can be no preparation, no right time. It's a feet first, one way, cant get off adventure! Xx
Thanks for this post - I can really relate to this. I also don't think there is enough conversation about what life sacrifices women have to make once they are mothers (be it career, travel, hobbies, independence) - the chat is all weighted on what you will miss out on if you don't have a baby. Thank you for opening this conversation
Yessss. Such a strong pull and yearning for the dharma of motherhood and yet to transition to that I have also had to grieve the chapter that will end for that to be...it is so multi layered and also one that requires such a deep surrender and trust in divine timing...all we can do is say yes! and then, let go and trust. I was so ready and yet life had other plans for while, which in the end was so aligned - Your soul babies will choose their timing perfectly I’m sure. Such an awakening process. When the time is right you will be such a wonderful mother Jayna
I am always happy to share the realism. As well as the heartbreaks when it doesn’t quite work first time or even second or third x 💋
I absolutely LOVE this post. 💖 My husband and I had those conversations before we got married and not long after we got hitched we found out we couldn’t conceive naturally. We started IVF and for threes years went on this rollercoaster that we were never ever prepared for. It didn’t work out for us but the same questions you write today ponder my mind around adoption and other ways to be a mother in this world and in hindsight wondering if I was ever truly ready to begin with...thank you for sharing such moving thoughts xx💜
I remember that moment with Delphi.
I have no doubt that you will be magnificent parents.
It is worth waiting for. It demands all the delays. It merits long thought and overwhelming doubts.
Because nothing I have done in my life is more challenging or more important than parenting F&C.
So enjoy the too and fro. Respect the tears and the fears.
And one day. Maybe even today. You will say yes. Ok. It is time.
And when you do. We will all be here to co-parent! I Love you.
You are speaking my language! I wrote a blog post about matrescence which is the period of transitioning into motherhood. I’m also starting a podcast on this subject also. I wanted to have a baby for so many years before I truly commuted to having one. I fought for it almost and then things happend in a way I would not expect (would love to tell you in person) every time something big happens to me like meeting Dave and getting pregnant, it’s always out of a space that I didn’t expect but makes sense. Hhhhmmm I wonder if that ramble makes sense! Love this subject and you will be such a wonderful mother when you choose to be and I would love to watch that unfold! 💛
🙏🙌 Love this and really beautifully written 'trust in the divine time' ✨... We are portals of existence and if it is part of our path i think it is the deepest connection there is ❤️
I was in the enquiry # for a very long time, knowing in my bones it was for me, feeling huge amounts of fear and resistance and then it dropped in as a clear yes, and here we are! 🤱🏻
Love this... The journey of motherhood needs to be spoken about more!!! For me there was an actual moment where I felt “YES - I’m ready! This is my calling now”... But even then it didn’t happen for some time. I also see so much conversation around pregnancy and less so preparing women for the moment when you become a mother and the challenging first months that brings. Women, mothers and pregnant mamas all need to gather more! Nothing can prepare you for that process I guess, but I wish I’d known more about the challenges of breastfeeding for example. Also here’s to all the women who are mothers to other earthly creatures, dreams and projects! Beautiful picture
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